Something Wobser This Way Comes… on Salary! (Halloween Edition)

To the young and old alike—beware! This Halloween tale may give you a scare.

From the busy intern bee to employed on salary, this gal just might lose her head. Be careful what you wish for, kids, because you might just get what you ask for.

 

The year: 2015. Mood: anxious and tired, yet somehow hopeful. Having just rung in the New Year, Satori had little time to breathe and relax. Only days removed from famed behemoth, The Texas Military Department Biennial Report, business showed no signs of slowing down. Little Satori sought to expand their team and add to the pre-existing madness. But little did they know who was to come drifting through their doors…

 

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Mischief was afoot—6-foot to be exact—as this statuesque, raven-haired sorceress sat down for her interview, likely with an agenda of her own. Employing her siren-song of a Classical music background and customer service experience, this charmer charmed Satori into offering her the position as Marketing Neophyte, an internship soon to end. Her name? Jennifer.

 

 

Fully committed to indoctrinating this young Medusa, Satori rolled out the bait with the ingratiating plan, one of their best. Wooing commenced with welcoming company happy hours, epic copywriting assignments, and clever humor made possible by The Whiz’s shared love of grandiloquent speech. Seemingly bewitched by Satori’s schemes, Fräulein Jennifer was enthralled with her new work home.

 

Time marched ever onward—seasons changed, and so did hair colors. From the darkest tresses with
a hint of blue, to a now-flaxen-maned coiffure, this hair chameleon pulled the wool over Satori’s eyes. Winning the team over with fierce work ethic, impeccable product quality, and speed to boot, it appeared that Dr. Jekyll was a quiet, mild-mannered copywriter, and Mr. Hyde was nowhere to be found. Or so we thought.

 

Several months in, we found the true heart of Jennifer—a multi-layered onion with none of the violence. A well-read, whiskey-drinking, liquid lipstick toting, indie music loving, cat-mom—the only things we’ve seen ruffle the feathers of this German minor are egregious typos and mansplaining. Trifle farther if you dare.

 

But with a resume like that, how could we let her slip from our grasp? From a quick stint as intern, to an even shorter-lived tenure as a part-time employee, Jennifer now joins the ranks as one of Satori’s full-time, salaried goons. She says this is what she’s wanted all along, but does Satori still have more tricks (or treats) up our sleeve?

And, the real question: is she drinking our Kool-aid? Or are we really drinking hers…? Congratulations, Jennifer! May our team grow stronger, just like Dr. Frankenstein’s monster, with you on board with the salaried workhorses.

 

According to our head(less) honcho, Halloween is considered a Satori National Holiday. But now, we have something even creepier and exciting to celebrate—trick or treat!halloween-png-photo

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Posted in Blog, Satorisms.